When you meet the person
that you feel is the love of your life, doesn’t the sun shine more
brightly? The woes of the world lessen and fade back into the mists that
surround everything except that person and you? And if that same person
should depart, the opposite happens and as you slide into a puddle on the
floor you ask "Why me? Why did he/she hurt me so?"
What can we learn from
this?
The one thing that I
have found to be consistent in my research of synastry (the interaction of
the astrological charts of different people) is the seeming inevitability
of meeting a certain type of person at different stages of your
life. This is not the same for everyone, as we all start with different
natal charts, and therefore timing cycles. What we do about that meeting,
or person, is of course our own choice.
The seventh house in a
chart represents other people in the broadest sense. It can be a romantic
association, a marriage, a business partner or even an open enemy (hidden
enemies are more 12th house). The sign on the Descendant, the
cusp of the 7th house, often shows the type of person we are
attracted to, or are attracted to us.
Every astrology chart
contains opposites, and they are a very interesting part of understanding
our own charts. For relationships, the first house (self) is opposite the
7th house (relationships). The cusp of the 1st house
is called the Ascendant, and indicates how we represent ourselves to the
world. To complete the balance, we are often drawn to people who have a
lot of the energies of the opposite sign (not necessarily their Sun sign),
the one on our own Descendant, as they represent qualities within
ourselves that may need attention.
So if your Ascendant,
for example is Leo, then your Descendant will be in Aquarius, and you will
probably attract the weird and wonderful, different type of person that
Aquarian energy brings. Aquarius is more concerned with the big picture
for humanity, whereas Leo can be more self-involved, hence the balance of
opposites.
I have also noted that
significant relationships often have some kind of strong connection
between the Nodes in a chart, and transits of the nodes. This can be the
North Node of one person conjuncting (being at a similar degree) as a
planet of the second person, with the Node person arriving to help the
planet person. These relationships can be profound, as if you work with
the energies involved, whole new areas of life can be opened up, as the
Nodes overall represent life direction.
A connection between the
south node of one person and a planet of the other person is an indicator
of past associations and karma, good or bad, to be resolved. For example I
had a friend whose Leo Moon was at the same degree as my Leo south node
and we not only had an instant rapport but a feeling of always having
known and cared for each other. There was a mutually nurturing feeling
(her Moon), a safeness and care that was very needed at that time in my
life, and she fostered the creative (Leo) abilities I had, and I did the
same for her. She was in my life for a short period, yet it is one I will
never forget and thank the powers that be for bringing us together when we
needed to be. A south node connection can also be very challenging, so it
depends on the circumstances.
The timing of
significant relationships can also be particularly associated with the
transits of Chiron and Saturn. In fact there are many transits that bring
people into our lives, be it Neptune and the dream love, Uranus and the
electric fascination, Pluto and the transforming obsessions and so on. An
astrologer can help to understand the cycles and the timing, as there are
many factors involved.
However, there is
something that you can do right now to better understand why you meet the
people you meet.
Think about someone that
you have really admired, respected or loved. What were their qualities and
attitudes? Was it their strength, their passion, clear thinking, manner of
working or sense of honour? Make a list.
Then think about how you
feel about those very qualities within yourself.
Being very honest, you
will no doubt find that these are areas of your own life that may need
attention in some way. For example, that lover who gave you a sense of
being nurtured and safe was probably reflecting your own anxieties about
being able to look after yourself at that time. That’s not to say there is
anything wrong with feeling loved and safe with someone, of course not! It
is just that if the balance goes astray between our individuality and
ability to nurture ourselves, and what we expect from another person, if
the relationship fails it can be devastating.
The idea is to become
aware of any expectations and needs we have that are fulfilled by the
relationship. Then learn the lessons that this person bring to you, for
example, if you admire their strength, then study it and foster your own
strength. If you feel that the other person in the relationship is holding
the 'power', then look to your own personal power and consider why you may
be giving it away to someone else.
If you have a track
record of attracting abusive relationships, the same thing applies. It is
a fact in this world that one tends to attract the very things we fear,
and have reflected back at us the inner challenges that we need to face,
by way of other people. What is important is not what we feel people do TO
us, but what we do to them, because it all goes back to how we feel about
ourselves. Sort of "what goes around, comes around", the karmic cycle.
If you feel that
everyone is awful to you, then the metaphysical question is "what part of
this have I created, what responsibility is mine?". And it is VERY
important that it doesn't become a personal pity party about how bad you
are - it is about recognizing causes within ourselves and calmly doing
something to change so it doesn't keep happening. Then we will no longer
attract people to bring those lessons home to us!
Life is mostly about
relationships, the needs we have, our daily interaction with others and
the necessary boundaries we must learn about and draw in the sand. And in
order to understand our relationships, we must first understand ourselves.
Astrology can be a tremendous help to recognising the significance of the
timing of relationships and what we can learn and contribute to them.
The bottom line is -
honour your own abilities, your awareness, your gifts. The more you do
this, the more you will find that you attract people into your life that
do the same.
Namaste.
Sue Thompson
