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These are thoughts
shared in an email from my friend Stephen Gese and he has kindly agreed to
let me share them.
Thoughts on life
One of the most significant
changes I've gone through is to procure a SIMPLE faith. it's not written
in any book, no dogmatic practices, or controlling doctrines. It's not
something you can touch or need to light candles in front of, it's in my
heart, and I bask in its freedom and independence.
I cannot spend my life trying to
figure out every tiny little aspect of why things are the way they are. I
don't wish to continually try to understand and explain why I am who I am.
It all wears me out, and makes me want to throw my hands in the air and
cry out "Enough ! "
I am at peace with what I
believe, it's taken me a lifetime to be able to say that, yet I am not
afraid to change my way of thinking if a new truth becomes evident. But
for the most part, I just want to remain quiet in my spirituality. It
makes me feel more wholesome when I don't have to make a loud noise or
prove anything to anyone, or ACT spiritually mysterious. I'd rather just
be me, the double Aquarian who is not afraid to say "Oops - let's look at
that again." or "Shit, that one sure took me by surprise." Following the
simple natural way of my Native American ancestors, seeing the spirit in
everything natural and knowing I am kin to it has given me a peace I've
never known. It is grounded in the ACCEPTANCE OF THE GREAT MYSTERY, the
creator of all, who needs no human explanation. Wakan Tanka, Gitchi
Manitou, Unequa, U-Sen, God, The Great Spirit. No matter what name I
prefer to use, they all mean the same thing to me.....
"THE FORCE THAT MOVES THROUGH ALL
THINGS, YET IS GREATER THAN THE SUM OF ALL ITS PARTS."
Of all the "things" that exist on
this planet, by their sheer numbers and our human restrictions, we will
only ever get to know a fraction of the whole. Most of those we do get to
know, we will only know briefly; not even cordially, even fewer will we
ever know intimately.. ....then Poof ! its over. (At least this round) .
So I guess it's very important
that we make all the moments count. To decide what's most important in
this short stopover we call our life. To not sweat the small shit, and in
the meanwhile, introduce ourself to as many creatures as come our way, and
at least say hello to the flora as we pass by. Who knows, that simple
respect may come in handy in the next go-round.
I'm always contemplating my
existence, I daily worry about dying before I'm ready (which would be
never) I don't worry about there not being something beyond this life, I
just hate to leave anything undone, and by God I have a lot I need to do
here yet. But then It's not MY choice is it? and doesn't that mean I am
only in charge of myself as I breath. The before and after are out of my
hands. I best get busy then.
One thing I have learned as an
older person, is that my spiritual balance is more important than my
mental or physical, which both decay at varying speeds. We all have our
shortcomings in those two areas, but our spiritual well-being IS
controllable and even though I have many times neglected it or tried to
convince myself it was bullshit, in the end It's always been the one thing
that gives me solace. I now find it amazing that there is actually a part
of ourself that doesn't wear out; and it takes so very little to feed. I
never realized that when I was younger. When I began to founder and flail
about because of life's enormous weights, I tried to tie my spirit up with
the creeds and tenets of an established religion to set me straight. I let
them take my personal spirit-gift and throw it into their righteous
potluck to get lost with everyone else's personal heartbeats, only to
emerge as one huge dogmatic clone that made me feel protected because of
its size.
Experiencing that and finally
walking away from it led me to find that really all I need is to keep it
simple, personal, and quiet. And never try to prove The Great Mystery,
my Great Mystery, to anyone. I don't think the creator ever meant it
to be confusing, or arrogant, or the same thing to everyone. Simply
acknowledging it in our own way was all that has ever been required. We
will learn what we need to learn in due course.
I believe there are those not of
this dimension who wait for us. One day they will smile and share the
simplicity of things we once believed to be profound, and show us that the
things we let overwhelm us by their perceived weight were nothing more
than large feathers.
Ayawaste.
Stephen Gese'
© Copyright Stephen Gese
2009
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